The Funny Side of Pizza

A True Story

During a summer break at Clark University years ago, I took a job as a pizza chef at the local Dominos Pizza. That job taught me something about making pizza, introduced me to the pizza industry and fed me a lot of free pizza. One busy Friday night, the delivery team could not keep up with the hundreds of orders that were coming in. The franchise owner asked me to stop making pizza and asked me if I was willing take his car to deliver an order to Holy Cross College.

I grabed the order and entered the owner's sports car. The rain was coming down so hard that it was difficult to see more than a few feet ahead. I tried to start the car, but I could not turn over the engine. After 10 minutes, the owner came out and explained that his car had a manual choke that needed to be pushed, and he showed me what to do to get the car started. So I started out of the pizza shop about 12 minutes late. Not having gone to Holy Cross before, I had to follow a map. It was very difficult to see through the downpour, and it took me over a half hour to get to the college, which was only a few miles away.

The pizza was now about 45 minutes old. I parked near a large dorm building, hoping that it was the correct building or at least close to the delivery address.The first building I entered was the wrong building. A student told me that the building I was looking for was on the other side of the campus. I ran through the rain for about 5 or 6 minutes and finally found the right building.

Because I was about an hour late, I tentatively knocked on the door. A student opened the door. When I looked into the room, I noticed that the students were having a party, drinking beer and smoking something that was popular back in the 70's and 80's. They were so drunk and high that they didn't realize that I was late. I heard, "alright man, the pizza is here!" The students seemed to be happy about that. I removed the two boxes from the red warming bag and handed them to the student at the door. He opened one of the boxes to find a waterlogged pizza with the cheese stuck to the top of the box. The rain was so hard that it permeated the protective cover and soaked the pizzas.

I thought that they wouldn't want the pizzas, but they were so drunk, high and hungry that they thought they were great! And to my surprize, they gave me a $100 tip! I should have delivered more waterlogged pizza to college students that summer.

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If I hear any good pizza jokes, they'll show up right here. If you have one, e-mail me.